Archive for July, 2013

The secret to 25 years of marriage AND an update!

July 28, 2013

UPDATE:  I was talking with my mom and sharing with her what I shared in this blog. And when I told her that the secret is to honest with each other, she said, “But there are things you can’t tell each other.” And I said, “But when I hold back from Tom, I feel like I’m lying.” My mother, and many like her, lived by that golden rule… keep everything inside. No wonder so many elderly have alzheimers, dementia, and more. The cost for living in secret is very high. Scriptures say, “What you have in secret will be shouted on the roof tops.” Because evenutally the truth does come out. For example, when someone is adopted. They don’t tell them until they are grown, and there is a lot of resentment that comes with that lie. So, again, I tell Tom everything. And it keeps the devil away. Because any time, no matter how big or small the secret is, gives the enemy something to use against us! Be not ignorant of his devices….

Original post:

Tom and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary yesterday. We took a drive around Lake Tahoe. We found a quaint little restaurant right ON the water.. I mean, water was on each side of us. What a find that was. As we were being seated I told the waitress it was our 25th wedding anniversary. She asked me what the secret to our success was. And I said that we don’t tell each other what to do, and forgive every day. (Of course there is much more than that, but just said those two things.) And then she asked Tom what the secret was to our successful marriage. And in his wise and witty way responded with, “There are not secrets.” He said that we have no secrets between us, we tell each other everything.

This is so true. If we held any secrets against each other, resentment and fear and anger could build up in time. That’s why so many get divorced at our age. Couples didn’t realize that keeping things from each other is a building block that begins to build a wall of separation between them. And before you know it, they don’t know what happened. Their only response is to get divorced.

My husband and I do a 6 month evaluation. We sit down every six months and ask each other this question: “Are you doing what you want to be doing?” Sometimes we start living for each other so much, that we forgot to do the things we desire, and that can also cause a rift in marriages. I know so many women when their husbands passed away, they started “living.” Shouldn’t they have been “living” all along? Because for whatever reasons, they just went along in life, not living what they wanted to live. It’s not that they don’t submit to their husband or things, but in a GOOD marriage the husband is to nurture and encourage the wife to be all she can be too! And that’s what I realized my husband has done. The reason for these blogs, or the books I’ve written, or helping thousands of people on the website, having this ministry, or even learning to ride a motorcycle has been because my husband has encouraged me to live and be all I can in this lifetime.

So, being honest with each other and encouraging each other in  hopes and dreams is not a secret to  success, but a necessity to success.

Scriptures tell us to honor our husbands, and for husbands to love their wives. I believe what I shared has fulfilled this passage. Because I honor my husband more and more every day as he loves me unconditionally and nurtures and encourages me every day.

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Teaching Our Grandchildren about the Lord

July 11, 2013

I just returned from a 14 day visit with my 5 grandchildren in Alaska. I had left with intentions of sharing the Lord with them more. Teaching them about Jesus, etc. I recall praying asking God how I do that. When I told Tom (my husband) of my intentions, he said, “Just live it.” Okay, that seems easy… but what about telling them about Jesus, etc? I decided to share a story. Well, that didn’t go over too well, they weren’t interested and they got distracted. The 2 little ones weren’t patient, so I took Tom’s advice.

I wanted to go to church and so I took the 6 year old with me. She loved it. She even went into her classroom alone and made a friend. The church was only 1/2 mile from their home. They do attend church, but my son doesn’t attend, and it’s quite far from home. When we got back to the house, my daughter-in-law told me that she never would go alone in a class, but cried for her. Anyway, as we were going home we stopped at McDonalds for some lunch. My granddaughter said, “I want that purple man in my happy meal.” And when she got her meal she said, “Gramma, I got what I wanted!” I asked, “So why do you think you got what you wanted?” She said, “Cause I prayed.”  And I said, “Yes, you can ask Jesus for whatever you need, and he will do it for you.” She said, “U..huh.” I was so excited about that, she was “living” it too.

Then the next day my daughter-in-law said, ‘Linda, I prayed last night for a job and I got an interview today!” They want her to start right away…

And on top of that, my son wants to go to that church now too!

We don’t have to necessarily “tell” our children about the Lord, we just have to live the example of His love, mercy, understanding, truth, and allow the children to “see” us go to church, pray and speak with the Lord ourselves. Shoving God down their throats or making them go to church may not be the example I’m referring to. Our own life example speaks volumes more than any words can say. I know so many adults that don’t go to church today because they were “forced” to go. I believe that if a parent goes to church and comes  home and “lives” it, the child will respond to that. But what I find is that if a parent goes to church and comes home and treats the family bad, that puts a bad example of God in their minds so they want no part of God.

I have a friend whose parents where Christians. I believe her father was a pastor. She grew up going to church, and learning about the Lord. But today she is an atheist. She wants no part of it. One day I asked her why. She said, “I didn’t see the love they talked so much about.” And today she is not wanting anything to do with God and even now says there is no God.

So we have to be good examples… like Paul the Apostle said, “Follow me like I follow Christ.” He was an example for us to follow Jesus like he did. I hope we can be that for our children, family and friends in hopes they “see” the truth and find the Lord too.